Marketing & Sales

Installing pixels, dropping cookies, and cashing checks. 

Marketing & Sales

Installing pixels, dropping cookies, and cashing checks.


Our Revenue Streams

The below percentages represent our estimated profit from each sale and/or donation. We also earn from qualified purchases on Amazon. 

Active Streams

GoFundMe 100%
Clothing 40%

Planned Streams

Manufacture Own Products 50%
White Label 40%

Marketing Plan

We are going to invest in brand awareness and pretend that we can track its overall efficiency. 

Paid Marketing

Organic Marketing

Lead Engagement (Email)

Drip drip, mother cluckers. This is an example of our automated drip campaign. You can also see why our founder is banned from sending internal emails (these actually went out). 

Email 1- Fake "Per My Last Email"


Email 2- Create fake controversy


Email 3- Pretend to hand out gifts 


Sales Funnel


Shady Social Media

We will use fake growth to create real growth (not really, but this is how you do it).

Developing Brand Trust

We will buy followers to convince people we are a reputable brand.

Increasing Engagement

We will use hashtags and then buy likes/engagement to trend higher.

Creating Pods

We will create engagement pods where we have our friends comment so their follower see the content. 

Contact Us!

Slide into our DMs and our hearts.